I Guess this is All Part of Losing Someone You Love

For the past few months that he's really been gone, I've felt so empty. I can be happy, but I feel like it's only on the outside, and on the inside it's someone entirely different. It's someone who is lost and confused. Someone who isn't herself without her other half. I haven't felt like me since Brian took himself out of my life. I can smile, and I can laugh, but nothing I do feels right anymore knowing that he's not there. But something happened. Something hit me to finally start to let him go. But I can't say that I've fulfilled my emptiness. I felt whole with Brian, and now I find it difficult to remember him. I think less and less about him and the memories get more and more fade. This has never happened before. When Brian and I are not together, that's all I do is think about him, and my thoughts for him have always more deep than any. But I'm moving on and I can't take Brian with me. I've felt so alone without him, and now I don't even remember what it's like to be with him. I guess this is all part of losing someone you love.

I'd Do It Again

Yes, I've heard all that you have to say, that's when it all fell apart. Might be hated, but I can't pretend, I liked you better before. So long, so long, front foot leads the back one. Go on and it won't be too soon. I'm gone, I'm gone and on to the next one. So long, and I won't be back soon. I'm only pretty sure that I can't take anymore. Before you take a swing I wonder what are we fighting for. When I say out loud I want to get out of this, I wonder is there anything I'm going to miss. I wonder how it's going to be when you don't know me. How's it going to be when you're sure I'm not there. How's it going to be when there's no one there to talk to. Between you and me, because I don't care, how's it going to be. Friends say Ive changed, I don't listen because I live to be deep inside of you. You say that Ive changed, well maybe I did, but even if I changed, what's wrong with it. I never let you go. Ive never felt alone till I met you. I'm alright on my own till I met you. And I'd know what to do if I just knew what's coming. I would change myself if I could, I'd walk with my own people if I could find them. And I would say that I'm sorry to you, I'm sorry to you. But I don't want to call you, but then I want to call you cause I don't want to crush you, but I feel like crushing you. And its true I took for granted you were with me. I breath by your looks and you look right through me. But we were broken and didn't know it. Somethings gone you withdraw and I'm not strong like before I was deep inside of you. I can go nowhere, I burn candles and stare at a ghost deep inside of you. And some great need in me starts to bled. Ive lost my self, there's nothing left, its all gone deep inside of you. Don't even know who you are, but in my defense I'd do it again, I don't need to know who you are. I like you around, I want you. You do, you do...you make me want you. So please please please come back to me.

My Love Story

When your young your not looking for a person you could potentially spend the rest of your life with. When your young love isn't something that you dread on finding. When your young you should be nothing but carefree, and let your life fall into place where ever it may fall. I never would of thought that one boy would fall into my life and change me forever. I was fourteen when I met Brian. We've all heard the phrase "love at first sight", but thought it only existed in movies; I found otherwise. We knew each other for less than two weeks before we became an "item". Brian became my best friend. I was more comfortable with him than I ever had been with anyone. I've had crushes, I've had the junior high boyfriends, but I knew this was different. Brian and I were complete opposites, but you know what they say about that. He's "Mr. go with the flow", and I'm "Miss everything has to have a plan", but it worked. I could say I knew what love was. For the next three years Brian and I went through everything together. And along the way, we fought, we broke up, and we made up. Because through everything we never stopped loving each other. Brian and I have broke each others hearts more times than anyone should have to go through in a lifetime. But no matter how many times that boy shatters my heart, I'll never let him go. Sometimes I want to so bad, but I just can't. I know what love is, and when you find it you never want to let go. It's not easy, love is something you have to work hard at. Because when it's real, you want it forever, and I want Brian forever.